Secret Agent Hamster
by Laryna6
Summary: A crossover with Zone, The Tyrant Hamster, the original work of a friend. What happens when a furry megalomanic trying to take over the world goes undercover at our heroes' headquarters?


Disclaimer: I own neither Devil May Cry nor Zone.

Zone the tyrant hamster is a creation of he who is fyrestorming on lj and has written some fics that were posted under the shared account michaelangela. He usually reviews as The Tyrant Hamster.

A bunch of people have written DMC crossovers with his character, so it's my turn. He's very welcome to it and if he wants to say thanks he could eventually write a Dante/Nevan, if he is so inclined. Not that there's any obligation, of course.

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"Excuse me?"

The two little girls, identical except for hair color, stopped. "Yes?" They blinked up at the nervous-looking man who had stopped them.

He held out a rectangular thing covered by a cloth. "Would you like a pet? You see, I'm moving and my new apartment won't allow pets, not even hamsters." He removed the cloth to reveal a hamster in a cage.

The two little girls looked at each other. "It sounds fun."

"Dante wouldn't like it."

"Do we have to tell him?"

"We'd have to feed it, and give it water. Animals have to eat. We'd have to buy food."

"We can feed it veggies. That way Dante won't have to eat them. He'll be happy with us."

They nodded in unison and smiled up at the man. "Thank you!" They held out their arms for the cage. He gave it to them and waved goodbye as they carefully walked off with it. When they were out of sight, he collapsed against the wall of a building. Phew. If he hadn't pulled it off he would have been in serious trouble. Even a two-inch lightsaber could do serious damage, and he hadn't liked the smile of that little rat.

Ebony and Ivory gave their new pet steamed carrots and broccoli and turned back into guns so Dante could take them out on a Mission.

When the coast seemed clear, Zone opened the cleverly disguised trap door in the custom-built cage. It had been expensive, but it would be worth it

Stealing from the Legendary Dark Knight! This would help his reputation grow. Not to mention that a Gold Orb would come in incredibly handy if some stupid superhero managed to kill him while he was conquering the world. Not that one would. He's shown Supremo what was what.

He wished he could steal more than one, he could sell it on the black arts market (it was hard for a hamster to get funding to take over the world and doomsday machines were expensive) but it would be hard enough to roll one out the door. Curse his six-inch height!

He scurried across the floor, cutting his way through a door with his lightsaber. Now where did he keep the supplies?

He found the front desk and cut himself handholds to reach the drawers. There was a photograph of a woman and a phone up here and some bottles of rather good alcohol. And, oddly, tomato juice.

The phone rang. He froze. Someone would be coming to answer it. He dived off the desk (lighter things fell easier), landing on his feet and scurried under it. Good thing he was only six inches! A human would be screwed right now.

Sure enough, someone padded into the room and picked up the phone. "Devil May Cry," a decadent voice spoke, amused. A moment, then, "Sorry, sweet thing. No password, no service." The phone was tossed back into the cradle and black platform shoes sauntered away.

Phew.

Suddenly, Zone felt claws grab him from behind. He was dragged out from under the desk and lifted up into the air. It must be one of the bats that hovered like a cloud around the 'woman.' This must be the demoness Nevan. What had his research turned up about her? He needed options, quick!

She looked at him, raised an eyebrow. "I thought we took care of all the rats. Can you be dears and search the complex?" Several of the bats flew off.

The one that had caught him cheeped at her. "Yes, you caught it so you can eat it, sweetling." She nodded.

"Wait!" Zone squeaked. Years of working toward world domination all to end up eaten by a demonic bat? No!

She blinked at him. "Well. You're not a demon." She reached out and took him, examined him. "Are you a transfigured human? Drat, we're not allowed to eat humans." She sighed.

"I'm a hamster, and proud of it!"

"Dante didn't say anything about hamsters… still, you're a sentient being. And a cute one. I doubt he'd approve." Another sigh. She handed him back to the bats. "Put him outside and catch him if he comes back in, will you dears?"

He wanted to shout, "I'm Zone the Tyrant Hamster, future ruler of the world! Bats won't stop me from taking what I came for!" Maybe not the wisest thing to say to someone who served someone whose job was _keeping_ the world from being conquered.

All that work wasted, he thought as he was deposited outside on the front step.

Still, he'd faced a demon and lived to tell of it.

He was a smart hamster, he could figure out how to use this to his best advantage. This might be good for his reputation after all…


End file.
